We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
