So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
