she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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