I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
