Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
