Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
