you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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