I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
