I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
