Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
