but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
