she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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