whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
