is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i've created a new STD.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
