he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
