I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
