I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
