people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
