Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
whose ass print is on the piano?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
