Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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