dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
