Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
