im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
