awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
