somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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