Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
