Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
