I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
