quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Alive.
So much puke
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The power of my boobs compel you
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
