Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
her facebook's as public as her vagina
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
