If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
