Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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