WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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