even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
