i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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