ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
