he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
