I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
false alarm. still invincible.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
