1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
