I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I enjoy the company of your penis
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
