apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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