...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Rumble strips road head = magical
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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