You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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