If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize