Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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