Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
