In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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