i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
