ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
