I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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