I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My dick has a subreddit
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
